You know you are tall when

You know you are tall when:

1. you and your girlfriend look like positive and negative terminals of battery circuit symbol( I am an Electrical engineering student. I had to make this joke.)

2.your parents are ashamed to walk beside not cause of your deeds but because of your height. ( I am a Indian guy. So opinion of my parents matters a lot.)

3.you are requested to click the groupies not because you are good at clicking them but because you have long hands.(sad but true)

4.everyone stares at you at wedding receptions not because you are good looking but because you are tall.(and ugly)

5.Indian aunties joke about how your mom is not going to get her "bahu" because your mother won't be able to find a tall girl for you.( they naturally assume that I don't have a girlfriend.)

6.your friends spend half the time wondering how you will kiss your girlfriend.

7.people naturally assume that you play basketball.

8.your teachers and parents don't slap you cause they can't reach your cheeks.( I am a good boy)

9.you get caught first when you are in a group and do stupid shit.

10.you scare the shit out of kids.

Why the Indian squad for ICC world cup is like a gully cricket team

"MC BC, Anu sirf meri hai"
-Virat "dating Anushka Sharma" Kohli to Sushant Singh Rajput after watching "PK"

So BCCI declared the Indian team for ICC Cricket World Cup 2015 and social media sites were filled with jokes about Stuart Binny. The team had very few surprise inclusions. With no doubt MS Dhoni leading the team this time around.

Dhoni, if you remember, is like that "bade bhaiya"who came to play cricket with you and used to be the one batsman you idolised growing up. But after growing up you realise that "bade bhaiya"was jobless. Dhoni being the senior most member of the squad is like that guy only.
Virat Kohli resembles that spoilt brat who played very well but sweared a lot. He is like the same kid your mom advised you to stay away from.
Ajinkya Rahane is like that guy who came from a good family, balanced his studies and extra-curricular activities well. He was the guy your parents compared you to. He was like the SI unit of measurement of "how good you could be".
Sikhar Dhawan resembles the player in your team who wasn't dependable. He most probably got out by hitting the ball in to that uncle's house who was very khadoos. You wanted to be friends with him cause he was the coolest guy to hang out with.
Rohit Sharma is that guy who you took in your team cause he had a bat and provided the money for the balls.
Stuart Binny is that guy whose father came and pleaded with your team mates to give him a chance to bat. And you all being the good boys you pretend to be allowed him to play.
Ishant Sharma was like that guy who had no idea why he was in the team. But the truth was he was allowed to play cause he wasn't greedy to bat.
Ravindra Jadeja was that guy who thought he could bat, bowl, keep wickets, dance, breathe, do potty better than everyone else.
R.Ashwin was that guy who no matter what took wickets and you wondered how.
Axar Patel was the small kid who fetched the ball and water to drink cause you were "too tired"to do that yourself.
Umesh Yadav was that guy who scared everyone with his pace but no matter what was always that bowler who got hit for maximum runs.
Bhubaneswar Kumar, Mohammad Shami and Ambati Raydu were the guys who just came, played and went home.


Anyways the way Indian team is performing right now is very depressing. And to recover from that bout of depression I suggest you to start watching Jai Ho on star cricket, cause that is the place India never loses. Thank you...

Why being in a relationship is exactly like preparing for entrance exams

"Nothings more tedious than dating a girl and/or preparing for entrance exams".
-William 'preparing for JEE' Shakespeare

Remember the first class you attended at your coaching institute? How you thought your life would change after you got in to IIT? How your coaching institute's finest teacher inspired you? How you will give up hanging out with your friends, give up watching t.v just to work hard and get into a reputed college?
Now compare them with how you felt the first time you saw your girlfriend. How you thought your life would change after you fall in love? How she will inspire you to be a better man? How you thought your life will change once you get into a relationship with her? How you will give up looking at other girls just for her? This is the time you should realize your life is going to fuck you in your ass.
Now try and analyze how the first 2-3 months of your coaching went. You did all your assignments on time, tried to score good marks in tests and you started studying till late in the night. Now try the same for your relationship. How you never left a chance to say how much you love her, how much you tried to keep her happy and how to talked with her till late in the night.
Now think about the time till 3-4 months before your entrance exams. Remember how you had neglected your studies, how you no longer cared about how much marks you secured in your tests? Now do the same for your relationship. Think how you no longer could bear her constant blabbering and how you no longer cared if you were in a relationship or not?
Enter the timeline just 2 months before your entrance exams. You realize how you are a total mess. How fucked you are if you don't crack your entrance exams? How you had no other option but to study? How try to think about the time your girlfriend stops giving you "bhao"and starts eating "bhao"herself? How you realize that you have no other option but give ample attention to your girlfriend?
Now the ending part depends on you. In case you were doing double time you probably managed to stay in a relationship or after reading this blog you are going to search "Sunny Leone"in Google and do what you ought to do in a IIT or NIT with your "half-girlfriend"(your hand). And in rarest of rare cases you are in a reputed institute and chatting away with your girlfriend.
P.S- I hope my girlfriend doesn't read this blog.